CULLEN, Isabella Marie

[bella]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] MYNAMEIS: Isabella Marie Swan Cullen CALLME: Bella, Bells, Bell ILIKE: boys IAM: 23 BORNON: September 13, 1087 SPECIES: vampire WHAT TYPE: Vegetarian ======================================== PLAYEDBY: Kristen Stewart HEIGHT: 5’4” WEIGHT: 110 MYHAIR: A beautiful brown almost mahogany colored hair. Soft to the touch, it is straight and most commonly seen worn down. MYEYES: When she has recently fed her eyes a brilliant topaz color. But as she grows more thirsty, her eyes darken into a dark black. Though she rarely ever goes without hunting long enough for her eyes to go completely black. MYFACE: A heart shaped face with a widow's peak. Prominent cheek bones and a thin nose. She has a narrowed jaw with a pointed chin, also she has very full lips. MYBODY: Bella is smaller, though more close to average than not. Her build is soft and very slender, it is clear she is not an athlete. But because she is a vampire her body is graceful, even when she is simply standing still. SPECIAL: Bella's body has no special marks or traits, aside from her scars. From where she was bitten by James, there is a crescent shaped scar on her hand. The on various places along her body there are scars, bite marks from Edward to save her after Renesmee's birth. ======================================== ILOVE: • EDWARD - He is the best thing that ever happened to Bella and there will never be a day that goes by that she isn't grateful to have him in her life. • JACOB - Her best friend, honestly she would have no idea what she would have done without him. It's hard for her to accept it at times but there is no one she'd trust more with Renesmee than him. • HER FAMILY - Not just Charlie and Renee but the Cullens as well. She loves each and every one of them so much. She couldn't imagine life without him... • HER POWER - It gave her the ability to protect the ones she loves, and there's nothing in the world she wants more than to keep them safe. • THE MEADOW - No matter how long she lives, there will be no place she'll ever love more than Edward's meadow. IHATE: • THE VOLTURI - They tried to destroy her family and she is sure that that they haven't given up. • RAIN - The small town of Forks has earned a place in Bella's heart but she'll always take the sun over rain any day. • POINTLESS FEUDING - The concept of vampires and werewolves having to hate each other, it is something that she has never liked. Nor does she believe that it's true. • EMMETT'S TEASING - Her brother isn't so bad but one thing she finds rather annoying is being the one he teases the most. • 'NORMAL' VAMPIRES - Anyone who willingly takes the life of another for something so pointless..she can't stand it. DONTTELL: • HER POWER - She's afraid that one time she won't be able to protect her family when it matters most. • A BABY - Not now but maybe in the future, try to have another baby.. SCAREDOF: • NESSIE - As much as she loves her daughter, she is afraid she's going to lose her when she grows up. • VOLTURI - As much as she hates to admit it, it's hard not to be afraid of them. • DEATH - She's afraid of anything happening to any of her family...and she's afraid of the day she has to say goodbye to Renee and Charlie... WANTTO: She wants all of her family to be happy, eventually accept Jacob and Nessie STRENGTHS: • HER POWER - It helps her in many ways, she’s glad that it’s as useful as it is. • BRAVE - She will stop at nothing for the ones she loves, standing up to things even when she knows she doesn't stand a chance • EDWARD - As silly as it may sound to some, he completes her. She wouldn't be who she was today without him in her life. WEAKNESSES: • STUBBORN - When she has her mind set on something, not even hell itself would make her back • HER FAMILY - She loves them to a point where it could be considered a weakness. Considering she'd throw her life away without a second thought for • DANGER MAGNET - For some reason, she draws trouble to herself and to those around her.. POWER: Mental Shield - Bella has the ability to protect her mind from any and all mental powers of other vampires. From mind reading to mental torture, anything that effects the mind will be powerless against her. As her power grew stronger, she also realized she can use her powers to protect others as well. Another thing she can do, though it takes a bit of concentration on her part, she can lift her shield off of herself. Which leaves her vulnerable to those abilities that normally cannot touch her. ABOUTME: Beneath the quiet and sometimes shy exterior, Bella can be quite fiery. She knows what she wants and sometimes will stop at nothing to get it. Especially when it comes down to anything having to do with Edward. He has become her world, and her love for him has perhaps turned into something of an obsession. What she is now is what he has made her. Some would see that as a weakness, but she believes that she has found what it is she has to live for. And Bella never does anything half-way, why would love be any different? Even with all of this, Bella just does not see herself as others would. For so long she was just the plain girl, never anything special. And she truly cannot believe that someone would go to such lengths to protect and love her. She would fully give herself over to something or someone, and not expect much in return. As she grows she is slowly seeing that this is not the case, but it is hard to break a certain way of thinking when one has been taught to think that way. Bella is also quite mature, due to the fact that she had to take care of her mother for so many years. Bella is extremely loyal and caring, she will stop at nothing for the ones that she loves. Her life is them...without her friends and her family, in a sense she is nothing. She is the type of person you really want on your side, Bella may not open up to everyone. But once she is your friend...chances are nothing will ever be able to break that friendship. Easily embarrassed, though it has gotten better now that she is a vampire. Like when she was human her Mother would always call her an open book. Simply because her emotions, whether she liked it or not, were so easy to see on her face. Chances were someone could quote easily guess how she was feeling or what was on her mind. But thankfully as a vampire it isn't as big of an issue. A fact that she is more than grateful for and even more so over the fact that she no longer can blush. To some, Bella could easily be described as a masochist. In a way no sane person would fall in love with a vampire or for that matter wish to become one themselves. She has never been considered normal(she would disagree) Her love for Edward is beyond words, she would do anything for him..and being a vampire, it was the right thing for her...she fits in better the way she is now so much more than as a vampire. ======================================== BORNIN: Forks, Washington LIVING IN: Baton Rouge, Louisiana MOTHER: Renee Dwyer Esme Cullen FATHER: Charlie Swan Carlisle Cullen SIBLINGS: Alice Cullen Jasper Hale Rosalie Hale Emmett Cullen THEKIDS: Renesmee Carlie Cullen IMPORTANTPEEPS: Jacob Black OTHERHALF: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen THEPETS: n.a GOODMEMORY: Her best memory would be waking up as a vampire for the first time, and realizing that she would get to be with Edward forever. Not only that, but knowing she had been strong enough to save their child. BADMEMORY: When Edward left her, despite the fact that he is back in her life…it’s still something she prefers not to think about. HISTORY: Love is pure and love is true, but sometimes...love doesn't forever. In high school, you believe that one true love will be your forever. But as people grow older, they change, as do their feelings. Charlie and Renee...It may have been fate that brought these two together. Whatever it was, that day in Forks high that the two met, it was almost love at first sight. The more time they spent together...the closer the two became. With plans to be wed, fresh out high school, it was shortly after their wedding that they received world changing news. They were going to have a baby...and on September 13, 1987, a beautiful baby girl named Isabella Marie Swan. It seemed Bella was brought in to the world, in exchange for her parents’ marriage. It was of course not her fault. But they slowly started to fall apart. It was after Bella was a few months old that Renee decided she could take it no longer. So one night she packed all her things, said goodbye to Charlie and the fled with baby Bella to Arizona. Where they would live for quite a long time. After the divorce, Renee was granted the right to have majority custody of their daughter. Charlie hadn't put up much of a fight, had of course loved his daughter but he also was not quite over his ex-wife. He felt that it was better for Bella to be with her Mother, it was best for both of them. After all he couldn't raise a child on his own...he didn't have the slightest idea how. So instead he settled for having Bella live with every few months for a week or two, though as she got older had began school, that time shortened to a few weeks during the summer. Renee tried her very best to provided for little Isabella, doing everything shr could for her. Like, sign her up for ballet...all little girls loved it, so she figured her daughter would be the same. But boy, was she wrong. It wasn't that Bella hated it or that she didn't try. She was just very much aware that she didn't stand a chance. She wasn't quite as good or as graceful as the other girls... She fell quite a bit and at the recitals..they rotated where girls stood...well all but Bella. No matter what, she was always in the back. That bothered her at first though she got used to it. But luckily to her great joy, her Mother eventually allowed her to stop. Now Charlie on the other hand, though she loved her Father, he didn't exactly know how to keep a little girl occupied. His idea of a good time was fishing, something Bella didn't agree with. Though she did love the Ocean, she wasn't exactly a fan of Forks itself. She loved the sun, a thing that didn't seem to exist here. Whenever she'd come to Forks to visit Charlie, at least one day was spent out while he fished. He didn't leave with nothing to do. Charlie always went with his best friend, Billy Black. Billy would always bring his twin daughters along to keep Bella company. Sadly Bella had very little in common with the girls. It was always awkward when they did anything together. In fact Bella had more in common with Billy's son Jacob who was a few years younger than Bella. This kept up every year..:living with her Mom and then spending a few weeks a year with her Dad. But around her 12th birthday, Bella finally put her foot down. She loved Charlie hut she was beyond sick of Forks. So instead when it was his time to spend time with her, they'd go somewhere else...where there was actually sun. Then, the worst part of Bella's life began. High school. To say she was socially awkward wasn't quite the right way to describe it. If someone talked tk her, she'd speak to them but most of the time it seemed like she was invisible. It was rather sad, in a school with thousands of kids..there wasn't a single one she could fully relate to. She was too clumsy for sports, she wasn't quite girly enough to be into fashion and things like that. She was an outsider and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. Of coure, her life was soon to change forever... Everything changed when Bella’s Mother marries Phil Dwyer, a minor league baseball player who is much younger than herself. Phil travels a lot due to his profession, and Bella notices how much her mother wants to be with him while he travels. So, to make it easier for them, Bella moves back to her birth town of Forks, Washington, to live with her father Charlie Swan. She enrolls at Forks High School. She does not notice the physical attraction she holds for the males at the school. She makes a few new friends, including Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber, and Mike Newton. The one group of people at Forks High School that truly intrigues Bella are the Cullens, a mysterious family consisting of five adopted children. Edward Cullen, in particular, captures her attention. His adopted siblings being are Alice- a petite girl with black, pixie-cut hair, who has the ability to see the future; Jasper, her husband, who has the hardest time in the family abstaining from human blood; Emmett, a broad, extremely muscular vampire, who is married to Rosalie, a beautiful, self absorbed woman. Bella finds out from a family friend, Jacob Black, that the Cullens are supposedly vampires. However, they are different from other vampires in that they are "vegetarians", meaning they choose not to drink the blood of humans, but instead live off of animal blood. Edward and Bella get to know each other better, it is hard for Edward to be near her, because he feels a particular draw to the scent of her blood. Although he does not drink human blood, Edward constantly lusts for it, and Bella's blood is especially tantalizing for him. He must constantly control his desire. He also finds that his mind reading capabilities do not work on her. Despite his desire for her blood, Edward and Bella fall passionately in love. Edward introduces her to his family, and soon after she is invited to watch their baseball game. During the game, danger reveals itself in the form of a visiting vampire coven consisting of Laurent, Victoria, and James. Victoria's mate, James, is a sadistic tracker vampire who has set his sights on killing Bella. He tricks her into coming to her old ballet studio with the sound of her mother's voice, and the Cullen family must rush to Bella's aid. They destroy James before he can kill her, though the other vampires of his coven, Victoria and Laurent, run and survive. Bella spends time in a hospital with Edward constantly by her side, where he admits that his sister Alice saw a vision of Bella becoming a vampire. However, he is determined to keep her human, despite her own determination to become a vampire. Edward takes Bella to their high school prom, despite her broken leg and angry protests. There are high levels of tension as he turns to action, caused by Edward and Bella's differences of opinion about turning Bella into a vampire. Bella is determined to be with Edward forever, but at the age of 17. Edward wants her to have a normal human life, in other words saying that he will love her at any condition, mortal or not. Then it all changed on Bella's 18th birthday. Bella is especially upset because it is the day that she becomes older, physically, than Edward, who will always be 17. It didn't help that she also had a nightmare, where she was with, what she thought to be her Grandma Marie, after whom she was partly named, turned out to be her. Edward came to her side in the dream and was just as young and flawless as always. Edward persuades her to come to his house on the evening of her birthday for a party thrown by his sister, Alice Cullen. Bella receives a paper cut while opening one of her gifts, drawing a single drop of blood and causing Edward's brother, Jasper Hale, to try to attack her. Edward, in the process of defending Bella from Jasper, throws her into a table filled with crystal, which results in Bella getting a deep cut from her wrist to her elbow. Although Bella's injuries are not life-threatening, Edward later decides that she would be safer without him, his family, and his dangerous style of life, so he deceives Bella into thinking that he does not love her any longer and leaves Forks with his family. Bella sinks into a deep depression for four months, until she is 'awoken' by Charlie Swan, her father. He threatens to send her back to live with her mother in Jacksonville, Florida because he is worried about her behavior. To appease her father, she tries to engage in normal, teenage-like behavior. She invites her friend Jessica to go to Port Angeles with her for dinner and a movie. While there, she carelessly approaches four men standing outside a bar. This results in her hearing Edward's voice inside her head, warning her to turn around. Bella soon realizes that whenever she puts herself in a dangerous situation, she can hear Edward's voice with perfect clarity. With this discovery in mind, Bella seeks out Jacob Black and convinces him to fix a motorcycle for her and teach her how to ride. Jacob and Bella become friends, when suddenly Jacob refuses to answer any of her calls and asks her not to come to his house anymore. It is not until a two weeks later that Bella learns what has happened to her friend: he has become a werewolf and is avoiding Bella for her own safety. She also learns that Victoria has returned to kill her, out of revenge for Edward killing Victoria's mate, James. Bella and Jacob reconcile, and she assists his werewolf pack of brothers in hunting down Victoria. To hear Edward's voice again, Bella attempts cliff-diving and nearly drowns. When Alice, who has the power to see the future, sees Bella jump, she believes Bella had committed suicide and subsequently returns to Forks. Edward, isolated from his family by his own volition, is told by Rosalie, his other adopted sister, that Bella is dead. Alice finds Bella and tells her that Edward is going to Volterra, Italy to ask the Volturi to kill him, because he believes Bella to be dead. Bella and Alice quickly pursue Edward to Italy, and stop him from being killed. Afterwards they are brought to speak with the Volturi, where they make a promise to change Bella into a vampire so that they can be let free. Back in Forks, Edward explains why he had to leave and begs her forgiveness. He tells her that he loves her and had always loved her, and promises to never leave her again. When Edward once again refuses to transform Bella into a monster, she decides to let his family decide whether she should become a vampire and thus join their family. All except Edward and Rosalie vote affirmatively for her to be changed. Edward later agrees to change her himself if she agrees to marry him first. Later, Jacob meets with Edward and Bella to remind Edward and his family of the treaty made between the Cullens and the La Push werewolves, which states that no Cullen may bite a human. Bella is thus left in a difficult position: if she does not become a vampire, the Volturi will come to kill her. However, if the Cullens do make her a vampire, they will have broken their treaty with the La Push werewolves, which would start a war with the Cullens. A few weeks later Bella receives a letter from Jacob that says that they can't be friends anymore. She is upset about this, but her mood greatly improves when Edward comes to visit her. Edward is trying to convince Bella to fill out more application forms for Dartmouth after getting accepted to the University of Alaska, but Bella thinks that college is pointless since she will be turning into a vampire soon anyway. Edward then sees an article in the newspaper about a series of mysterious killings in Seattle and explains to Bella that these killings are most likely a newborn vampire, unable to control its thirst. Later on that day in school, Bella witnesses Alice having a vision: Victoria is coming back to Forks to hunt Bella. Ultimately, Edward must go hunting and leave Bella. For fear of Bella putting herself in danger, he bribes Alice with a yellow 911 Porsche Turbo to watch over Bella while he's gone and keep her away from Jacob. Bella is furious at Edward's presumption and manages to slip away to see Jacob. Upon returning to the Cullens' house, she encounters Edward. He is not upset that Bella ran away, and realizes that he has been overprotective. Bella thanks Edward, and he begins occasionally taking her to the La Push line for regular visits with Jacob. During one of the visits, Jacob admits that he is in love with Bella and forcefully kisses her. Bella is furious and punches him in the face, succeeding only in breaking her hand. Edward later threatens to break Jacob's jaw for Bella if he ever kisses her without her permission again. Meanwhile, Bella still has her heart set on joining Edward and his family as a vampire. But, after consideration, she decides that there is one thing she would like to do while human: she wants to make love with Edward while she is still human. Edward immediately refuses this "demand", explaining that although he wants her as much as she wants him, he could easily kill her if he lost control. Bella insists that he would never allow himself to let that happen. Eventually, Edward agrees that they can "try", but she must marry him first. Bella reluctantly agrees and becomes Edward's fiancée. Moments before Bella's graduation, she realizes that the army of newborn vampires are under the control of Victoria and therefore will be coming after herself. Having no other allies, the Cullens and the La Push pack of werewolves join forces to battle Victoria and her army. Before the battle, Jacob overhears Bella and Edward discussing their engagement and becomes very upset. He tells Bella that he will go in battle with the intentions of dying because she won't love him back. Bella tells him to kiss her so he will think she loves him back, but as she kisses him, she realizes that she loves Jacob as well. She feels terrible after doing so, but Edward isn't angry. Despite realizing her feelings for Jacob, Bella knows that those feelings could never compare to the intense love she has for Edward. Soon after this, Victoria and Riley, a newborn vampire, find their hiding spot. With Edward outnumbered, it at first looks like Victoria will be successful in killing Bella. But Seth Clearwater, another werewolf, arrives to assist them. Seth kills Riley, and Edward beheads Victoria seconds later. After a brief confrontation with several Volturi soldiers (who had been sent to clean up Victoria's army), Bella goes to visit Jacob, who was wounded in the battle. She tells him that, while she does feel for him, she loves Edward far more, and has chosen to marry him. Jacob reluctantly agrees to stop trying to come between Edward and her, and assures her he'll be there if she ever needs him. Bella then goes back to Edward, and they agree to tell Charlie about their engagement. When Bella and Edward have told both of her parents about their engagement and both given their blessing, though Charlie is still slightly resistant to the thought of their marriage. Alice is busy making preparations for the wedding, which is only a few days away. Meanwhile, Edward has bought her a super-strength safety car, which she sees as either a sign of compassion and caring or as over-protectiveness and worry about her safety. This car is for temporary use until she is changed into a vampire, when she will not need the protection. Meanwhile, Bella feels guilty about Jacob, believing that her rejecting him caused him to run away. The wedding goes smoothly, and Jacob arrives at the party despite her rejection of him, and Bella is so relieved that Jacob has decided to come after all. However he gets into an argument with Bella about her wanting to make love with Edward while she is still human (luckily, only the werewolves and Cullens hear the argument). Edward and Bella leave for their honeymoon to Isle Esme. After the wedding, Edward agrees to make love with Bella, but is horrified when he sees that he bruised Bella while doing so. He vows not to make love with her again until she has been turned, but Bella succeeds in getting him to do so. Bella notices that she is getting unusual illnesses and changes of appetite, but does not make anything of it. After, once more, making love she notices that she is pregnant. Her baby develops at an extremely fast rate, and she becomes very sick. She can't keep food down, and is dying. Also, the baby inside of her is so strong it has been breaking her ribs by accident. Edward had asked Jacob to try to convince her to kill the baby that was killing her, but Bella couldn't, because she loved it. Through Jacob's joking Edward then suggests for Bella to drink blood, and she quickly becomes stronger. Soon after, Edward realizes that he can hear the baby's thoughts, and starts to love the baby when he hears that it "absolutely adores Bella." Jacob remarks that Edward could never hate anyone who loved Bella, which is why Edward did not hate him. After having a typical Bella moment, which included dropping a cup full of blood, the hardened placenta detaches, and Edward, Rosalie, and Jacob are forced to perform an emergency birthing since Carlisle is hunting with Esme. Bella's body is nearly destroyed in the process - several ribs are broken, she loses vast amounts of blood, and her spinal cord is snapped. She names her child Renesmee, but then her heart stops beating. Edward injects her heart with some of his own venom and bites her body in several places, turning Bella into a vampire. Jacob goes to kill Renesmee after she is born, because Renesmee almost killed Bella while she was in labor, but imprints on her instead. Bella wakes up two days later, now a vampire. She claims that she can notice how everything is different when she became a newborn. Her senses were improved by great lengths. She explains her new eyesight, laying her new eyes first on a light on the ceiling, claiming to see another, "eighth," color illuminating from it -- UV light. Shortly after her creation, Edward takes her out on her first hunt, where she proves to have incredible self control when she runs away from the scent of human blood (something newborns aren't supposed to be able to do). Bella later finds out Jacob imprinted on Renesmee, which makes her very angry, and she calms down quickly, but not before trying to kill Jacob. Later, Jacob, aware that the Cullens are planning to move, phases into his wolf form in front of Charlie (he thought Charlie was the reason they were leaving). Charlie was shocked to discover Bella knew about the mythical world for years, and tells her to tell him only what is absolutely necessary for him to know. This allows Bella to keep her father in her new life without putting him in danger. Bella adjusts to her new life extremely well, going as far as to think she was destined to be a vampire. Later, Bella is with Jacob and Renesmee in the forest when a vampire, Irina, sees her daughter and mistakes her for an immortal child, a heinous crime of the vampire world. When Alice learns that the Volturi Coven and the entire guard is coming to destroy the Cullens, she flees with Jasper on a secret mission which she doesn't tell anyone about. The Cullens look for other vampires to be witnesses, including nomads and other covens, such as the Irish coven and Amazon coven. In the meantime, Kate, a member of Tanya's coven, tries to teach Bella to project her power, so she could protect others from the Volturi's powers. The Cullens and their allies manage to convince the Volturi that Renesmee really is growing (with the help of the werewolves, Alice's research, and Bella's gift), though Irina pays for her mistake with her life. After the confrontation Bella, Edward and Renesmee return to their cottage; where Bella drops her shield and allows Edward to read her mind for the first time, showing him just how much she really loves him. Edward, Bella, and Renesmee feel free to live their lives in peace forever. ======================================== ALIAS: Bella HOWYOUFOUNDUS: Made LD OTHERCHARACTERS: None yet RP SAMPLE: With Edward, it was like a double sided coin. It was impossible to be happy, to have all the good things, without taking all the bad things that came with it. But in this case, she was all the bad things. Nearly, no really all of the problems, one way or the other, all began because of her. It wasn’t fair…Edward was such a good person. So caring, intelligent, and brilliant; even as a human…he would always be so much better than she. So…why he loved her so much, it never really made any sense to Bella. There were millions of girls, so many better suited for him and yet, he wanted her. A plain, ordinary girl…her positive qualities were average. But her bad traits, the fact that she was a danger magnet and a klutz and an overall selfish person, they were above and beyond the norm…. What was she supposed to do now, how on earth could she possibly fix this. At the moment she should be down on the ground, begging for his forgiveness, begging for him to let her stay. She didn’t deserve him in her life to be quite honest, what she did deserve, however, was for Edward to kick her out. To tell her that he wanted nothing to do with her and then never let her see her son again. Bella’s heart throbbed at the thought. The simple idea of never seeing Edward or Ej….it was enough to crush her soul. And really, that would be what would happen to her. She had to get rid of that thought even though it was very possible. Or at least it really would only be what she deserved. But…she knew no matter what she did, Edward would never do that to her…. No matter how much part of her wanted him to. She hated hurting Jacob, but she hated causing Edward pain even more. He believed in her, trusted her and yet she always seemed to go behind him back and hurt him somehow. She didn’t mean to cause people pain, she was the only one who should suffer and yet she always seemed to drag everyone else down with her. It wasn’t fair…but then again when was it ever fair? She couldn’t help but wonder…a tiny part of herself at least, how things would have turned out if she’d never been born…or simply if she hadn’t moved to Forks. She wanted to believe everyone’s lives would have been better but she was a selfish person after all and she couldn’t bring herself to do that. To be here in his arms, it was a comfort and yet it only made her feel that much more horrible about all of this. Feeling guilty wasn't going to make anything better. After all, if she could only be faithful, she wouldn't have to feel this way. There wasn't a doubt within Bella, she knew that she loved Edward with everything that she was. But she was simply unable to say goodbye to Jacob. And until she did... Edward would never truly trust her again. God. She just wanted to scream, what was she supposed to do. How could Edward possibly ever forgive her. Maybe she knew that he would and that's why she was so upset...because she didn't deserve his forgivness. There was only one thing she could do and....she just couldn't. Jacob....No, she couldn't. He had to be a part of her life. Anymore it really was impossible to see how, but she still cared so much about him. He was her best friend and even if she tried to deny it, she really did love him. That love though was nothing like what she felt for Edward, but it was enough to cause both Edward and Jacob pain. She knew in reality if she just left them both, everyone would eventually be ok. Didn't they deserve to be happy more than she? Bit she bit her lower lip, breathing in slowly. Trying so desperatly to calm herself down. Getting upset like this, the only thing she'd get was Edward's sympathy. Truly it was something that she didn't deserve. He was trying to comfort her and make her feel better. She wanted to sigh, but not a single sound escaped her lips. For at the moment she was choking back another sob. This was the first time that she truly missed being a vampire. How she'd been able, for that short period of time, to hide her emotions. Not everything she was feeling was written out on her face clear for the world to see. But now, being the 'open book' she could only imagine what her face and even her eyes showed Edward. That was the reason why she was trying her hardest not to look at him. Her attetion on the floor, the walls, any random piece of furniture. There had to be something internally wrong with her, her life up untill this point. for the past few months really, it had been perfect. Not one was after her family, and nothing stood in the way of her life with Edward. But of course, she wasn't happy with that... Well she was, but for some reason she had to make a problem of something. And with that thought she had to force herself back to reality. She really needed to stop this and now. All she was doing was feeling sorry for herself instead of trying to think of how to make things ok again. Bella was honestly tempted to speak again, she needed to say something. This silence was really going to drive her insanse. She parted her lips, taking in a small breath as she prepared to talk. But then, she stopped, her words cut off at the feel of Edward's hand against the side of her face. Her two main reactions at the moment were to wince and/or pull away from him. But somehow she'd stopped from doing either. If she'd reacted like that...what would he have thoughten about that. Did it matter though, what could she do now that would ever make him think less of her. She loathed the fact that she truly knew, no matter what, he'd never hate her. "Shh, my love." The sound of his voice, it was so soothing to her and yet it made her hate herself that much more. She wanted to forget all of this and act as if nothing was wrong, but, that was truly impossible to do. She bit her lip, to keep quite. She'd already began to cry, something she'd promised herself she wouldn't do. She needed to pill herself together. Take whatever punishment she was going to get with dignity. After all whatever Edward decided, it would of course only be what she deserved. He then pulled her closer to him, and tucked her head beneath his own. Rocking them both gently back and forth, she allowed herself to remain here. Despite how much she wanted to pull away, she knew she didn't have anywhere close to that type of will power. "You can have whatever you want. Just be happy. You have every right to be here. You also had every right to see him." Even though she had expected him to say something along the lies of this. She still couldn't stop herself from feeling the pain and the guilt that went along with those words. She quickly shook her head back and forth, her eyes closing for a moment. "No. No....I know what I want you but...I don't deserve you, I never have and we both know that I never will..." She cut herself off, stoping only when he led her towards the couch. Her body was physically and emotionally drained but sleep was beyond impossible in a moment like this. With both of them on the couch, she could not find the will to even want to pull away. With him holding her so close again, she wanted to act as f nothing was wrong. She didn't want to cause all of these problems but it was like she honeslty had no other choice... No say in the matter. "You love us both, I realize that. I should not have thought that a ring would be the end of it. From my own perspective, I suppose that I found everything impossibly perfect. I had not given as much thought to yours and Jacob's relationship and that is entirely my fault." Why...why did he always do that to her? It was her fault, it always was and yet...somehow he always found a way to make himself believe that it was in fact, his fault. She pushed against his chest, moving back so that she could look up at his face. "Stop!" She snapped, for the first time not really caring if she raised her voice or not, she was beyond sick of him always going so easy on her, she didn't deserve his kindness or his forgiveness. "Please, just stop doing this to me. This is all my fault and no one elses. Not your's. Not Jacob's. It's mine. And what you expected our wedding, us getting married should have been the end of it. Edward I love you....and you alone....You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. If I wasn't one hundred percent sure of that, I wouldn't have agreed to marry you. So please, stop being so understanding. I'm a horrible person, why can't you just see that?!"" Her voice was louder at first but as she continued her voice slowly began to fade untill it was barely audible when she finished. So many times she'd nearly lost control of herself. Her shoulders had begun to shake lightly but this time she'd managed to keep from crying. "Bella, I can let you go. I know you love me, but if there is a chance you love him more, well then I cannot hold you back." With those words....to be quite honest it felt as if he'd taken a knife and plunged it straight into her heart. Really that pain would have hurt less than what she felt now... He could let her go....? Even if it was just a statment...she couldn't bare to hear those words. Just imagining being without him, she couldn't survive another day. "You can let me go..." She had to choke the words out and then pausing for a moment before she could continue. "Maybe...you can...but, I can't let you go...I'm- I'm not strong enough to do that... Edward, I loved you so much....it consumes me...This is all my fault....that you can't see that I'm yours and that's nevr going to change... My heart, my soul.....I don't want to live without you....." She wispered softlu realizing how stupid she sounded but she honestly didn't care at this point. she needed to show hit that she did mean what she was saying to him.... "I can still be in your life if you wish. The pain would fade eventually...Honestly, the one thing I can't handle is being the man that could eventually be in a one sided marriage. If you are going to continue to see him, if it is better for you, if you still want to stay with me, I won't mind as long as Ej is out of it." "This is your decision, I don't want you to put me or even him first. Please, take a moment to consider what you want. It will...'Soften the blow,' if you will, the sooner you tell me." This time she chose to say nothing, waiting untill he finished with everything he had to say. And really, it was a good thing she didn't say anything fpr she knew that she would have no control over ehrslef at this point. Edward was considering all of these things...Believeing that she didn't love him and that she wanted to leave. She honestly had no idea what to say. It wans't true....not at all but how was she supposed to make him see that..... "No...No..." She forced out shaking her head once again as she buried her face in his chest, she couldn't look at him and she didn't want him to see her. "I'm not going anywhere....p-please believe that.... I-I know that I've been horrible to you and I don't deserve you or Ej... But please...i-if you let me stay.... I..." She stopped, these next words would kill her to say but she had to "I'll never see Jacob again....." here Isabella Marie Swan Cullen

[/td][/tr][/table]
[/center]

[DANNA DEVILLE]

ACCEPTED